Jultember: nerd two ways...

i have met a few people over the years who claim that they almost never dream. my mind boggles at the possibility of such a thing. there is a virtual circus of activity inside my head every time i close my eyes for longer than a blink.

some of those dreams play out like a movie with a beginning, a middle, and an end, and i occasionally find myself struggling to stay asleep because i do not want to wake up before it is done.

some of those dreams help me sort out the confusing details of things: like that time back when i was having trouble remembering the ascending sensory pathways and descending motor pathways in cross-sections of the spinal cord... until i fell asleep one night and dreamed that i was a pulse of energy traveling from one part of the body to another, up and down those pathways. it all made perfect sense when i awoke. everyone has dreams like that, no?

there are also those dreams that rip me violently from my sleep and leave me almost afraid to ever close my eyes again.

then there are the dreams that serve as a magic window into the ludicrous corners of one's personality. i begin a lot of days with a good laugh when recounting the absurdity that was rolling around inside my head while i slept.

i had a dream recently in which i was walking outside of a building, and there were two men engaged in a heated conversation about something. one of them had a look that screamed "professor of some super-smart subject", and he was arguing with a younger man who i presumed to be either a colleague or maybe a protégé.

as i got closer, i could hear what they were saying. they were arguing about someone's theorem about something or another, which made no sense to me at the time. then i noticed that there was a wall of formulas projected onto the very air behind them (like something out of an Iron Man movie). and every time one of them spoke, the arrangement of formulas would change to reflect whatever they were talking about.

then one of them said something about "Oppenheimer's theory...", and the image on the invisible wall of formulas switched to a black-and-white photograph of a man.

i was instantly captivated.

i started walking forward with my eyes fully fixated on the image, and i passed right between the two men who took no notice of my presence. they went on arguing, but the picture of the man on the screen remained the same. and i just stood in front of it with my mouth agape.

it was as if life finally made sense.

i woke up a short while later, and just laid there in a complete mental fog, trying to figure out where i had heard the name Oppenheimer. it was then that i heard the faint sound of my favorite animator at his computer, so i got out of bed and the very first thing is said to him was...

me: sweetie... who is Oppenheiner?

after a few taps at his keyboard, he began to read...

him: Julius Robert Oppenheimer was an American theoretical physicist and professor of physics at the University of Ca...

i raised a hand at this point to call for a halt to the reading. it was coming back to me.

him: why are you waking up and asking me about Oppenheimer?

so i told him about my dream. then i got to the good bit... the thing that had absolutely captivated me.

me: it was the sweater he was wearing!
him: of course. 
me: i had moved closer so i could examine it up close. and while the two of them were still throwing theorems around behind me, there was only one thing running through my mind.
him: which was?
me: i can make that!

then he just shook his head at me with a look of amused-pity on his face. i get that look a lot around here.

him: so all your dream proves is that you are a nerd two ways.

he can mock me all he wants, but i guarantee you there will come a day when he is walking around looking flustered, and i will ask him what he is looking for, and he will say the words that will make me smile... have you seen my Oppenheimer sweater?

want to know how seriously i take my absurdity? well...

for the past couple-few weeks, there has been a Google search for "oppenheimer" among the like five billion tabs that open automatically when i start my browser. its sole purpose for being there was to make sure that i did not forget about the thing. most of all, it was a reminder to find a pattern for something similar.

yes, i could make up a pattern of my own at this point, but that would send my OCD tendencies into overdrive, so it is far less stressful to find a pattern and start from there. besides, it was not a complicated garment. it was a raglan-style sweater with sleeves that were much darker in color than the body section. kind of like the long-sleeve baseball shirts he is so fond of wearing.

his current favorite one features Skeletor's face on the the front, so i am already aware that there will be an inevitable request for something equally absurd when i eventually get around to making the Oppenheimer sweater.

see??? it is already a thing!

after much searching, i finally settled on a sweater that bears the inspiring name of CB29-09. [i agree... the model is adorable.] i am going to offer the making of this sweater in exchange for a drawing that i have been begging him to do for almost a year now. [if you have been here before, you may recall a similar scene regarding my gnus.]

yes... my life really is steeped in absurdity. that is the point of the thing.

i bet she is dreaming about that sweater too.