house of Absurdity...

you know you live in a house full of absurdity when your ridiculous requests go totally unquestioned.

me: uhm... sweetie, i need you to do me a tiny favor.
him: what?
me: i need you to... uhm... add some... uhm... censorship strips to... uhm...[long pause here]... a picture of naked Barbie dolls.
him: send me the picture.

and just like that, it was done.

i mentioned back at the start of the year that i was stepping wayyy outside my comfort zone by making clothes for Barbie dolls. well, that was just the beginning of the absurdity.

let me pause here to point out that i am not exactly a fan of Barbie. i do, however, love love LOVEEE making stuff. so, when one of his brother's kids started carrying around an armful of Barbies, i responded in the only way i could. i knitted and sewed a bunch of tiny clothes for Barbie dolls.

naturally, this meant that i had to purchase my own Barbie dolls. a dressmaker needs models, after all. i got a "regular size" Barbie and a "curvy" one so that i could cover the full spectrum. the smaller one was actually some sort of Scientist Barbie, which i chose because i like to torment myself every now and then with reminders of what my life used to be. and, yes... my cat is sniffing Barbie. i am sure there is a hashtag for that.

where was i? oh, yes... Barbie.

so, here is my tiny fashion show in all its glory. forget the "house" of Chanel or Givenchy or Dior. they are all amateurs. allow me to introduce you to the house of Absurdity. enjoy!

i did quite a bit of sewing for dolls back in the day, but this was my first time knitting for Barbie, so i spent some time picking out the right pattern to begin with. unfortunately, i picked out a yarn that was slightly too thin, so the overalls turned out a bit... uhm... well-fitted. it almost feels like i should be asking for another censorship strip.

i went for  thicker yarns, and both ladies now had slightly-less-well-fitted overalls.

then i made a dress that seemed more appropriate for Scientist Barbie to wear when standing up in front of a room full of university students who are pretending not to be looking at nonsense on the internet while she drones on about the parts of the brain. ask me how i know.

and i made a couple tunic-style sweaters that could be worn on their own, or with pants. if memory serves, the greenish-blue sweater was loosely based on this one, and the reddish-pink one was something i made up on the go. [random aside: that designer has a ton of Barbie-sized patterns (most of them are free) available in about eleven languages on her website and on Ravelry.]

 those pants were repurposed from some old sweats, so feel free to thank me for saving the planet.

i made the template for the pants by tracing a line around each doll onto some sub-par watercolor paper that we have been trying to get rid of for years. the pants were the perfect sizes, so i made two more, this time using stretch lace of the kind that is intended to be used as the trim on tacky dresses for weddings and sweet sixteens.

they are super-adorable with these strapless dresses...

which i made from some cheap Reebok socks that i found on sale somewhere. that one sock looks a bit smaller because i tossed it in the wash to see if it would shrink... and it did.

my absolute favorite item of all was the party dress for Curvy Barbie. in a word... stunning!

then i sorted the whole lot into two piles...

placed each pile into its own little bag...

and sent them off to the kid, who was only momentarily disappointed that is was not a tin full of chocolates. this was so much better.

naturally, i forgot to include (or even photograph) one item. the party dress for Dimensionally-Challenged Barbie. now i am going to be accused of being a reverse-sizeist.

i have enough scraps of fabric and leftover bits of yarn to make clothes for an army of Barbies, so there definitely will be more to come. and i have to add that i might have been more of a fan of this franchise if Curvy Barbie existed back in my day, because she has dimensions to which i can definitely relate.

now i feel like i need to go knit or sew some more tiny things. this will not end well.

6: he's not crazy...

relief finally came at about four in the morning. it was brief, intense, and very much welcomed by all. i climbed out of bed, threw open the balcony door, and just stood there, savoring the spray. rain! 

i felt a familiar presence near my feet, and i reached down in the darkness to pick up the Little One. then we just stood there... watching it fall. rain!!!

one more brush against my leg, and Baby Bear (the "middle kitty" of the three) had stretched herself out by my feet, right up against the screen door. she too wanted to welcome the newcomer. rainnn!!!

and so we did.

it should be noted that i had to diffuse a growing conspiracy theory after i pulled today's topic out of the treasure chest, which—i was convinced for a short while— had the power to read my mind.

me: i really want to go to the fabric store, but it's too hot for any non-essential trips outside. i think i'll wait till tomorrow, when it cools down a bit.

that was yesterday.

what is the connection, you ask? well, i wanted to go to there for the express purpose of buying a roll of fusible interfacing (stuff you iron onto fabric to make it a bit stiffer) so that i can finally use up of the stack of fabric i plan to turn into bags for housing my various knitting projects.

here are all the bits of fabric, destined to become bags one of these days.

so, there i was this morning, lungs bursting with petrichor, face sprinkled with a healthy spray of sanity-restoring rain, when i came to the firm decision that i would definitely go to the fabric store today! then i shoved my hand into the treasure chest, and... well... you already know the rest. i am still not completely convinced that it really was a coincidence, but i will keep the "alternative explanations" to myself for now.

i honestly figured that his presence with me in such a setting would deter any unnecessary spending. i would get in, grab some interfacing, and we could kill a bit of time elsewhere, and maybe grab lunch before heading home.

boy... was i ever wrong.

worst part was, it was all him.

we took less than three steps inside the store before he was trying to convince me to buy the first thing he saw. a wooden basket with all sorts of compartments for storing sewing supplies.

me: i don't really sew enough to need something like that? why would i get it?
him: because it looks so cool.

at one point, he was lamenting that we are not into nautical themes in our home decor. he said this while gazing up at a display of drapery fabric featuring lots of shells and sea creatures. i just shook my head in wonder.

i made the mistake of suggesting that we should check out the bin that every fabric store on the planet has, where you can get great deals on the odd bits from the ends of the rolls (or the pieces that customerd changed their mind about buying after it was already cut from the roll). it is the perfect place to go diving for 'odds and ends' for making project bags.

i looked at a few pieces, and i was ready to resume looking for the interfacing... but he just kept digging deeper through the bin and adding stuff to my shopping basket. not only did he find a few great pieces for bags, but he also convinced me to buy a couple other pieces so that i can practice sewing knit fabrics (the kind that t-shirts and other "stretchy" garments are made from), as i have very little experience with such things.

he spent some time considering a display of large pieces of foam, and considering their usefulness in the noble art of puppet-making. yes... you heard me right.

i decided that i wanted a bit of black denim to mix with some of the patterned fabrics, and while i was walking away from finding that, he convinced me to get a bit of some cheery, colorful fabric to add to my bag-making stash.

then we got to the button aisle, and things went completely sideways.

he found a corner with a bunch of Disney buttons and such things, and he proceeded to "ooh" and "aah" over every single one of them. luckily the place was nearly empty, or i would have had to explain to curious passersby that "he's not crazy... he's an animator".  i may need to print that on a t-shirt.

he came across these chicken buttons, so now i own a cardi-worth of chicken buttons because he really liked the design. makes perfect sense.

i do not keep a lot of sewing supplies on hand these day, so i had to get some zippers and threads to mach the various fabrics. and, yes... he even enjoyed that part of things.

then... finally, we went to find the interfacing. and, as we were heading toward the register, he decided that he really wanted those perfect-for-puppets pieces of foam after all, so he ran back to get them. not sure why, but i sense that there is some puppet-making in my near future.

so, i will share the (planned) bag-making combos from the new pieces of fabric. this is also meant to serve as a note-to-self for after i shove all these pieces into the same drawer, and i find myself six months from now trying to remember what combos i intended for the whole lot.

this was the first piece of fabric that caught my eye. i wanted to emphasize the bright yellow with a matching zipper and thread, but i am considering using the black denim for the bottom of the bag, to pick up those small bits of black in the design. or i may just decide to skip the denim on this one.

there was very little of this floral fabric, so it will definitely be combined with the black denim. i cannot decide if i like this better  with the beige zipper and thread or with the black.

this was the colorful fabric he suggested. he also picked out the thread and zipper. i love this combo more than i can explain.

this is a heavy fabric of the type that is used for outdoor furniture, so it should make for a durable bag with either the antique gold or the black zipper. i might add a black denim bottom to this one too... if i have any of it left by that point.

these are two identical pieces of knit fabric, for practice sewing. i folded one to better show the print. i need to go hunting for more of this, because i want a set of big-kid pajamas made out of this stuff.

and a different practice knit fabric. this would be lovely as a skirt.

and, last, but certainly not least... three meters of the unremarkable fusible interfacing that started this whole field trip to the fabric store.

i could have just ordered the thing online, and skipped the trip, but then i would not have twice as many sewing projects to ignore. joy.

oh, and if you ever get a chance to spend your life with someone for whom "embracing your inner child" is both a career requirement and a "calling"... just take it! i guarantee you will never regret the experience.

big-game hunting and other ways to spend a Saturday with mom ...

my maternal grandmother was a seamstress, therefore everyone in my family sews. my mom, her younger sister, and their baby brother are all proficient at the craft. my uncle even apprenticed under a professional tailor before giving it all up to enter the exciting world of architecture. the need to create is something of a family tradition one might say.

growing up, mom and i would occasionally hop a on train early on a Saturday morning, and head either to the world famous Garment District section of Manhattan, or to a tiny strip of Downtown Brooklyn, along the roadway that continues on to become the Manhattan Bridge. we were on the hunt for fabric in the wild. okay, so it was more like 'fabric in the mild', but the point is that we took our sewing seriously enough to make a day out of perusing the shops. the best part of the thing was the meticulous search through the bargain bins... in fabric stores... in the heart of the NY fashion scene! you can keep your endangered species and other 'big-game'. this is my kind of hunt!

i recall winning a prize for a pincushion i hand-sewed at age six from the scraps of a dress my grandmother had made. she even taught me how to add a few colorful stitches to decorate the thing. it must have been that line of little red X's that won me first place. i tackled more and more challenging projects over the years to the point that mom would marvel at the hours i spent pinching and reshaping every dart or pleat till the garment fit like a second skin. we were mainly garment sewers (skirts, dresses, and such thing), but mom has probably produced several hundred yards worth of drapes and curtains to date. 

my interest in sewing has waned significantly over the years. there was that one time (a decade or so ago) when i grabbed a needle and proceeded to hand-stitch a curtain for the oddly-placed little window in our old bathroom (that b-word again!). i used a long running-stitch to emphasize the hand-sewn aspect of the thing. 

aside from the odd hem or a quick dart to stop my jeans from falling down (i will save the rant about my lifelong struggle with jeans that always end up being far too loose in the waist for some other day), i seldom pull my sewing machine out of storage these days. it sat in a box, nestled among other boxes in the middle of the studio since we moved almost two years ago, until i finally plucked up the courage to bring it back into the light. i wanted to sew something... anything. 

he wanted me to make him a shirt with skull fabric (or, better yet, teach him to make such a thing), but i need to clear out the cobwebs before tackling such an intimidating task. what do you make when you have not sewn in years and you are afraid you may have forgotten how to do so? i pondered that question while working on that grey sweater for him, and, as i crammed the bulky mass into a too-small project bag, it dawned on me that i too could make such things. so, i made a bag!

each side of the bag features a different section of the overall print on the fabric.

and it has been kitty approved. 

soon as i snipped the last thread, Baby Bear was already trying to nap with the thing. 

this is some sepia-toned fabric i purchased in recent years. i added a light iron-on backing to add some body and structure, as the material was rather light for the bag. i opted for a satiny lining fabric (also from stash) to reduce the friction on my precious yarn as it tumbles around inside the bag. i will use a sturdier satiny lining in the future, as getting the thread tension right on this stuff proved to be the biggest challenge. i am definitely rusty.

the most important thing was the need for pockets. i z-folded the lining and stitched along the fold lines to create one large pocket across the width of the piece, then divided that into two pockets. i may have had a strong drink before committing to making the pockets uneven. the larger one fits a pattern book, and the smaller one is perfect for extra packs of knitting needles and my Altoids tin of safety pins, darning needles, and stitch markers. it is the Swiss Army Knife of project bags.

i opted for a bright red zipper to match the few pops of red in the rather sedate fabric. 

it is a generous-sized bag that can fit a bulky adult sweater or multiple smaller projects, and the top can be folded over for use as an open basket to hold all sorts of yarn things.

it currently contains a large project i am working on at mom's request, and some of my hand-dyed yarn that may be destined to become socks for him... maybe.

i need to be stopped...

i am enterprising on a new obsession, but it requires a bit of history to explain. last year, we were inundated with beets from the summer/fall CSA farmshare, so i had to find many ways to use them before they went off. problem was, i am the only person around here who likes beets, and then, only once in a very blue moon. i was able to put the leafy tops to use as "sauteed greens" (and they really are quite tasty as such), but there was no amount of magic that would make the bulbous roots any more appealing to my favorite animator. enter pickled beets.

i did not want to buy a bunch of canning equipment (canner, jars, rubberized gripper thingy for moving hot jars) just to produce a few quarts of pickles. luckily, there is a lazy approach to doing everything. i purchased a few large jars of the type that are usually used to display dry goods (pasta, beans, that sort of nonsense), and i skipped the hot water bath used in canning and settled for fuss-free refrigerator pickles. i boiled, peeled and sliced the beets, then layered them with sliced onions, a few sprigs of fresh herbs, and some pickling spices. i made a hot solution of vinegar, water, and salt, filled the jars with the mixture, and left them to cool to room temperature before placing the jars in the fridge. after several days, i speared a slice on a fork and presented it to my favorite animator for tasting. (once we got past the many goofy faces of protest) he nibbled the very edge of the disc, chewed a few times, then opened wide and grabbed the rest of the slice from the fork. yep... he was hooked.

fast-forward to the present, and he has already put in a request for pickled beets for the upcoming season. naturally, i see this as an opportunity to delve deeper into the world of canning (and as an excuse to buy some proper equipment). unfortunately, attempting to learn more about preserving and storing food is like throwing yourself down a rabbit hole and emerging in Prepperland. i have absolutely nothing against being prepared for emergencies—some of my favorite people have basements that look like supermarket aisles—but the SHTF rhetoric tends to inspire overzealousness (bordering on straight-up insanity) in individuals who seem more than willing to press the self-destruct button, just to put their "plan" to the test. seriously, it is scary at times. one minute you are reading a relatively sane post about food preservation, and a minute later, you are eyeball-deep in comments about chemtrails, mind control, and every manner of global conspiracy. i just want to eat tasty pickles and maybe make some jam. i am not stockpiling for World War III.

so, there i was, weeping for the future of humanity, while browsing for books on Amazon and simultaneously cycling through many tabs opened to assorted food storage websites, when it hit me: i need to be stopped. i tend to preface every new activity with tons of research, which (inevitably) leads to the need to purchase ALL the equipment, because that is how my brand of OCD works. it would be acceptable (or even useful) if i had an acre or two worth of produce to 'put up' for the winter, but i am likely going to buy a couple bags of  beets and amuse myself for an evening turning them into pickles. period. this does not require collecting more junk equipment in my already crowded kitchen cupboards. beyond that, i blinked for a minute and found myself looking at vacuum sealers. makes sense. if you are gonna go, may as well go all the way, right? seriously... i need to be stopped.

elsewhere, i am gearing up for marathon amounts of summer reading. as a general rule, i pick a theme (or author) and roll with that for the season. i decided to take a break from cozy-mysteries, and try a bit of fantasy for a change. i started reading Raymond E. Feist back in high school, and i always intended to read the rest of the Riftwar cycle, so i am returning to the very beginning with the Magician novel(s).

i am also drooling over Making, a new-to-the-market, multi-craftual magazine.
 

the first issue has a "flora" theme, while the second issue (due out later this year) will have a "fauna" theme.

there are recipes, line drawings (of the 'adult coloring book' variety), and assorted craft projects, including beading, embroidery, and these super-cute sewn/quilted coasters.

however, Making is first and foremost a knitting magazine. the Editor (and resident Photographer) is knitwear designer Carrie Bostick Hoge. i love the simplicity of her garments, several of which are on my must-knit-before-i-die list [notably, the Shoals Tank, Maeve shrug, Maude cardi, and Portland Pullover]. while the magazine features projects from several designers, i found myself swooning over one by CBH herself. there i was, perusing the preview images, when i came across the Branches & Buds Pullover, and i gasped audibly. it is even more charming in hard-copy. i need this sweater in my life!

we found this vintage copy of the Better Homes & Gardens Sewing Book at the used bookstore, and it was a must-have for my craft library. it was originally published in the nineteen hundred and sixties (that does sound ancient), but it is a timeless reference of basic and advanced techniques that should come in very handy.

then, just as i pulled the last book from the pile and started snapping away, my camera lost power. some may say the battery went dead, but i have read enough of this book to recognize the first stages of an assault. clearly, the garden gnomes do not want me to share this truth with the rest of the world. seems i may need to reconsider the prepper lifestyle after all.

on a parting note, i was sorting through a batch of photos earlier today, when my attention was drawn to an odd repetitive noise. it stopped after a second or two, so i returned to sorting... and there it was again, a noise coming from outside, but in decidedly close proximity. this was the point when i tossed aside the librarian glasses, grabbed the nearest cat (that being the little grey one, as the other one was too busy napping to get involved), and bolted toward the balcony. a tiny head popped up among the greenery, and i responded by shoving the cat through the door, in the general direction of the trespasser. then my cat, my bestest best girl, sat down on her haunches and proceeded to lick herself thoroughly, while the squirrel looked on with curiosity from the railing. having concluded that my cats are completely useless, i was forced to resort to harsher methods. why was i squirting hot sauce on the balcony and sprinkling chili powder on soil, you ask? chemical warfare, i reply. wish me luck.