zen and the art of giving up on giving up...

we are entering that time of year when the forces around us provoke an intense need for reflection. what were my goals for this year? how much of that did i accomplish? what changes should i aim to make in the coming year? my answer to all of this is a resounding "mind your own business, forces!!!".

i gave up on making resolutions a long time ago, as it usually amounts to setting one's self up for disappointment. beyond that, in my life, the challenge is usually to talk myself out of giving up on things. i may possibly—just possibly—be the single most impatient person in existence, and that is especially true when it comes to trying things outside of my skill set. anything that requires practice, persistence, or (gasp) patience is a definite non-starter in my universe.

if you have followed my non-adventures for any length of time, you can probably guess by now that i am talking about my forays into the world of watercolouring (spelling totally intended). not gonna lie... i was about to pack up all of the supplies and stash them away in the back of the darkest closet i can find. however, a little voice suggested that i should possibly—just possibly—stick with it a bit longer, and possibly—just possibly—give it a go more than once every six-or-so months. the voice was coming from the face of my favorite animator. i really hate it when he makes so much sense. so, in the spirit of doing something a bit different, i am not going to give up on painting. it is frustrating as hell and i have zero natural aptitude for the thing, which is probably what i need most of all.

in a related vein, i will revisit that orange cardi i started some several weeks ago. i got about halfway through the body, then ripped it back to this...

...then knitted (again) through most of the body, before tossing it in a corner to be revisited another day. i had all but decided to frog it completely and re-purpose the yarn for some other thing. however, in light of my newly-acquired outlook on life, i may possibly—just possibly—give it another go.

one final note: i feel zero shame in admitting that i slept all day... ALL DAY! the sky outside was dark when i awoke, and the glowing red numbers on the clock read 5:38. i closed my eyes and rested my head back against the pillow, trying to decide whether that meant AM or PM. after a week of sleeplessness, it felt good to wake up to such a pressing problem.

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