please don't hurt me...

[i am attempting a week of daily posts in an effort to distract myself from being angry, frustrated, and disappointed... but mostly angry... about all sorts of stuff. wish me luck.]

we have a multi-part planting project in the works (some of which i will likely talk about later in the week... if i make it that far). unfortunately, we needed some parts that we did not already have on hand, so we started Sunday morning by driving to the other side of town to visit a new-to-us garden center. it was HUGE! we ended up making a hasty exit before we blew our budget for the next six months on gardeny (gardenish?) things. for example, we made the horrible mistake of checking out their bonsai section, so there might be some bonsai adventures in the not-too-distant future. the place is dangerous.

so, we paid for our stuff, then went racing to the car to get off the premises while we still could, assuming that all of the dangers would evaporate once we got back on the road. HUGE mistake!

we had barely turned the corner, when noticed a new-to-us Asian grocery store on the opposite side of the main street. it was HUGE. and they have an impressive assortment of... everything... including a seafood section with tanks full of swimming things all begging to become our next meal.

so, in we went, and home we came with this guy and a few of his friends.

i called this one Paco, because why not.

this is where things got interesting.

i should point out that we also purchased a new wok, because we had decided to give them a quick toss in the wok with some herb-y bits then splash on some sauce-y things and serve it with a bit of rice. naturally, he decided that this required a new wok.

me: we already have a wok.
him: but they have a whole aisle of woks, and they are all much nicer than ours.

so he ran off to select a wok, while i was left to bear the guilt of deciding which crabs would die for our culinary amusement.

fast-forward to a short while later, and we were standing in our kitchen, looking at the crabs splashing around in a container of cold water. this is when it suddenly dawned on us that someone would have to kill the things.

him: that is all you. i have never killed a crab in my life, and i would not know where to begin. 

so, i just stood there, staring at little Paco (who had already been separated from his friends), and there was only one thought running through my head.  

me: (said silently while staring at Paco) please don't hurt me. 

then i picked him up, wrapped him a kitchen towel—in case he had any thoughts of vengeance—and before long i had four crabs cleaned and quartered, with their claws removed and given a light crack to allow for maximum flavor penetration.

the new wok was hot and ready to go. in went a generous amount of chopped garlic, ginger, and green onions. that was followed by a sprinkling of five-spice powder and a healthy shake of the smoked paprika that manages to make its way into most things we eat around here. then came the crab pieces. i sauced it all with almost everything i could find. there was a fish sauce, light soy sauce, mirin, two types of Chinese cooking wine, Korean chili paste, and a healthy drizzle of sesame oil. i blanched some greens before beginning the crab dish, so i tossed them back into the wok at this point to warm them up again and get them coated in that everything sauce.

we dumped the whole lot into an old baking dish, and we served it along with a bit of plain rice.

it was so good! he is usually impatient when it comes to picking tiny bits of crab meat from their seemingly endless network of shells, but this dish was so tasty, that he gave it his very best effort. meanwhile, i was in a state of bliss through the whole thing.

we enjoyed our meal while watching Barbarella. this was a first time viewing for both of us, and it was the latest installment in the rather odd desire i have had of late to watch movies—most of them bad ones—that existed before my lifetime.

we ate. we laughed. we ate some more.

a good time was had by all... except maybe  Paco and his friends.

everything is upcoming...

two random observations before i begin.

1) kimchi-flavored Korean ramen topped with slices of Jamaican jerk pork is the cultural collaboration that will bring about world peace.

and...

2) this does not look like a cat who is guarding my strawberries from squirrels.

i pointed out said fact to her, so she yawned and did this. useless!

i had a birthday recently, which we decided to celebrate by turning it into a three-day weekend of random stuff. seriously... if you had a choice between going to work on Friday, or driving around Montreal doing random stuff, which would you choose??? exactly!

so, off we went, and stuff we did, including a stop at a little shop on the other side of town that sells... well... random stuff. you can see why i had to go there, right? exactly!

we purchased a large bag of soy-wax pellets, and several bottles of scented oils, which will be featured in an upcoming crafty adventure... for TWO. [i emphasized that last bit in case he thought that his involvement with said project ended with sniffing bottles of essential oil in a shop that looks like a slice of Hippie Heaven.]

we were a few blocks away from Marché Jean-Talon, so we absolutely had to spend some time there. to call this place a "farmer's market" is an understatement of epic proportions. it is a MASSIVE wonderland of random stuff (mostly) of the culinary variety. there are stalls and specialty shops selling just about any food ingredient you could imagine. best of all are the delicious smells of things being cooked all around you.

there is a little house across the street from the market that i want to live in one day, mainly because it has a large arbor of grapes growing in the front yard (take THAT, people with your pointless front lawns), but also because it is so close to what is possibly my favorite spot in all of Montreal... possibly.

we managed to forego the temptation of having lunch at the market, but we did enjoy a few samples of things as we wandered around, filling our bag with fruits and veggies as we went.

we spent quite a bit of time daydreaming among the sprawling assortment of transplants and other gardeny things, but as the balcony garden project is already at past capacity, we had to walk away empty-handed. we did, however, stumble upon someone selling tiny potted indoor plants, which has been at the top of my must-find list.

we got a small assortment of tropical stuff for another upcoming crafty adventure.

i need to start working on this particular project soon today for two reasons. having made the mistake of letting his dad in on the plant-related plans, we are now receiving almost-daily inquiries into its progress. we tend to procrastinate overthink things before getting them started, which is driving his dad bonkers, as he is the type who has the thing made/built before the idea is done forming in his head.

then there is my crazy cat Cordy (the useless littlest one of the three) who refuses to take my word for it that miniature palm trees are not an exotic kitty snack.

so now i have to hurry up and get the thing done, if only to 1) put his dad out of the stress of waiting, and 2) save me from strangling an adorable little cat.

we decided to take the super-scenic route and drive through downtown on our way back home. we had to settle instead for crawling  past downtown (for reasons which will become clear in a moment). we eventually got home, where we grilled some amazing things, and i i was introduced to what may become my new favorite beer. the sun was shining, and i was in my happy place. best birthday ever!

my three-day-weekend birthday happened to coincide with the Montreal Grand Prix, which usually involves the entire downtown area being blocked off from vehicular traffic. as a result, the city of Montreal—which is already renowned for being a "party town"—turns into a veritable carnival with locals and all of the folks who roll into town just for the race doing their best to delight all of the senses.

so where did we head for Saturday's adventure? that is correct! we went to the opposite end of town, and spent some time at one of the large (quiet) parks along the canals. [fun fact: Montreal is an island in the middle of a large river, so there are lots of canals and other waterfront sites to be enjoyed literally all around the city... cause... you know... it is a small island... in a river... literally...!]

and what did we do at the quiet park, you ask? we wandered around, collecting bits of stuff that used to be attached to the trees. this too will feature in an upcoming project. everything is upcoming it seems.

this little twig chose me, but i cannot seem to figure out how to make it do magic stuff. there i was, walking around  the park, twig in hand, practicing my swish and flick wholly unapologetically. i hear what you are thinking... and i really do not care.

we went over to the other side of the park, where i was mesmerized by people fishing, but that did not last long, as evening was slowly creeping in, and the bugs (and my allergies) were telling me that it was time to flee. so we came home... and grilled some other delicious things.

then we decided to relax on Sunday. so we stayed in... and grilled even more delicious things. we also watched a lot of random stuff during the course of the three-day-weekend, (mostly) of my own choosing, as it was my own personal national holiday. [i will be apologizing for years for subjecting him to the terror that was the Michael Bay Transformers films, which will (likely) be the subject of an upcoming post/rant about frustrating things.]

with so much stuff upcoming, i better get started with all the necessary procrastinating planning.

dragons can be quirky....

i woke up this morning and pulled open the curtains, only to confirm that we were at the start of yet another week of cold, grey, overcast misery. then something amazing happened, and i do not mean the cup of coffee that i actually remembered (for once) to drink before it went cold.

me: there is a big, fat bumblebee with his head shoved down the mouth of a snapdragon. i am smiling very hard. 
him: nice.

the snapdragon is one of the few flowering plants that i usually do not mind tucking into the empty nooks of a vegetable garden. zinnias and bunching sunflowers—the kind with clusters of small flower heads that can be used as cut-flowers—also share the rare distinction of being endorsed by me. in fact, there is a variety of sunflowers called "velvet queen" that ranks incredibly high on my list of favorite things. trust me... things have zero value until they land on said list.

where was i again? oh, yes... snapdragons.

not only are they pleasant to look at, these flowers are also an excellent source of pollen for the bee population, hence the early-morning visit on this waiting-to-rain kind of day. that spray of yellow dust is pollen, which means that the bumblebee probably paid this flower a visit while i was still fast asleep.

snapdragons are a common sight in Summer gardens, mainly because they are such an attractive and interesting plant. they are also super-easy to care for, and extremely low-maintenance. it is the perfect accent plant for the lazy human being.

the flowers come in almost every color, except blue... because that would make me too happy. they grow clustered in stalks and the flowers open in succession from the base the tip. this variety has rather short stalks—laugh if you must—but you can see that the flowers at the bottom of the cluster are already withering, while the ones at the top look freshly-opened.

[random aside: you see the same pattern of blooming in the gladiolas that florists try to sneak into every floral arrangement ever made. i am convinced that the tradition of the dozen roses was started by someone who was trying to convince a florist to put down the gladiola for Pete's sake.]

where was i? oh, yes... 

snapdragons earn their names from two things... their appearance and a peculiar quirk that they share. bet you never knew that dragons can be quirky.

the flowers bear a resemblance to a dragon's head. yes, i know... the dragons probably look a bit different where you live. check out that profile. it definitely looks dragon-ish.

as for the other part... when you place a finger on either side of the flower and press lightly—as though you were squeezing someone's face by their cheeks—the center of the flower pops open to reveal the mighty "mouth" of this ferocious beast. i especially like the way this looks with the darker-colored flowers where the pollen-coated inner bits (yes... i do know they are called stamen) look like teeth. admit it... you are shivering with fear.

methinks this dragon needs a tube of toothpaste.

where is the snap, you ask? just squeeze to open...
 

and when you release the flower, it snaps shut again. SNAP!!!

think of it as a cheap magic trick with Mother Nature providing the only prop you will need. yes.... i am easily amused. most of all, it amuses me to know that the bees have already found my garden, so they should be around when my tomatoes and peppers start flowering... which will happen if the sun ever shines again.

then my mind started wandering, which is always a dangerous thing.

me: when we get through the Marvel movies, can we watch the Transformers movies next? i love that cartoon. 
him: the Michael Bay ones? no way. they are an atrocity.
me: come on. i want to watch Bumblebee—which he did not direct—but OCD requires me to watch the rest of them first. 
him: we can try, but i bet you give up halfway through the first one.
me: that is why beer was invented.
him: uh huh.

so now i will be subjecting us both to a series of bad movies, all because of one pollen-plundering bumblebee. luckily, i have set myself on a beer-sampling adventure, so that should provide any necessary buffer on those bad-movie evenings... but i will talk about that bit of absurdity some other day.

** i am editing this to add that we ended up watching Transformers later in the day. it was disappointing, but that is usually the case when revisiting the happy things we remember from our childhood. best part was, i got through it without resorting to beer. we did, however, have to pause a whole lot to engage in mini-rants about things we found infuriating (seriously... what reason would the military guys have for putting their trust in the Autobots when their only experience with the Transformers involved them nearly getting killed in the middle of the desert? and how do you have the main bad guy show up with like forty minutes left to go in a move that was almost two-and-a-half hours long???). the cats slept on undisturbed through the whole thing, as they are used to that kind of nonsense from us. a good time was had by all.**

what is the point...

after what was without doubt one of the most soul-draining Winters of my life, i was really looking forward to the arrival of Spring. it seems to finally be here.

him: uhm... Spring happened like two months ago.
me: that is adorable. 

then i just shake my head in pity that he thinks this is what Spring is meant to feel like. 

still, while it has been mostly chilly, wet, and grey with hardly a trace of sunlight to distinguish night from day, the temperature has remained above freezing for a few weeks now. i think it is safe to call this season Spring.

i am not abandoning my warm blanket just yet though, especially not with an "aggressive cold front" in the forecast. and, no... i have no idea what makes a cold front "aggressive", but that sounds like a meteorologically-polite way of warning us that it will feel like "not quite Spring".

this is the time of year when my fancy usually turns to thoughts of gardening. we are going to try something a bit different this time around. there is only so much space to be had when your garden consists of however many containers of soil you can squeeze onto a (moderately-sized) balcony. as a result, for every new thing you add to said space, you have to abandon all plans of growing some other thing.

i usually scoff at the idea of growing flowers. you know... all those brightly colored plants that serve no purpose other than to be pretty and to bring joy. yuck! however, i allowed myself to be talked into giving it a try for this year's balcony garden project. so, off we went to the garden center, and home we came with an assortment of pretty, colorful things.

see that?

it is called a dahlia, and it is beautiful. now, i ask you... what is the point of such a useless thing?

we also picked up a variety of small annuals, which i planted in a couple of the troughs on the railing. the troughs are mostly symmetrical, except one has red snapdragons...

 

and the other one has yellow snapdragons. OCD may require me to run out in the middle of the night and remedy this kinda sorta but not quite symmetry.

there are also flowers in one of the ten-gallon containers that would otherwise be holding edible things. i expect them to explode into a lovely display of color... should we ever get anything resembling actual sunshine.

i did manage to squeeze in a few tasty things for future culinary adventures. so far, we have three types of tomatoes, two types of peppers, and an assortment of herbs.

oh... and i also bought a few strawberry plants which i will add to the remaining trough before the end of the day. strawberries usually do pretty well in containers, and i look forward to the dramatic effect of them hanging from the railing. naturally, there will be many frustrated reports of damage-by-squirrels in the coming weeks.

[i transplanted the strawberries and grabbed a few pictures before pressing the "publish" button, so i will insert them in here for your viewing pleasure.]

if you look at the center of a strawberry flower, you will see the start of a tiny strawberry. i call it... future strawberry.
 

while i do feel a touch of sorrow at having lost the rest of my precious... precious... garden space to pretty, flowering things, we do have a few indoor plant adventures planned for the near future. that should keep me distracted for a while. then there is the furniture to be reupholstered... teaching him to sew... and a couple rooms that (still) need to be painted.

this would be a good time to sit back, have a sip of my coffee, and look out at the pretty, useless things. i can get used to this.

not quite ruined for life...

i was talking to mom on Sunday.

mom: what are you doing?
me: nothing much. just sitting here, watching the falling snow.
mom: it's snowing again? every time i talk to you it's snowing. 
me: oh, it's even better than that. we went from rain to freezing rain to hail to snow, then briefly back to freezing rain, and now back to snow... and that was all in the past hour alone.
mom: wow!
me: indeed.

to give you a sense of just how crazy this Winter has been, the city of Montreal exceeded their snow-removal budget... several weeks ago! meanwhile, we have another month (or two) of deep-Winter weather to look forward to.

so... yeh... i am officially done with all the cold.

i had planned on wrapping up my week of daily posts with a meal of homemade pork-and-vegetable dumplings on Saturday. then we changed our plan for the day, and we ended up being out-and-about until late into the evening—which sounds far more exciting that it actually was, trust me.

so, homemade dumplings became our main meal on a meteorologically mixed-up Sunday afternoon.

we do a lot of dumpling eating around here. they sell a wide variety of frozen (uncooked) dumplings at our local Asian grocery store, and we usually have a bag or two of them in the freezer ready for a quick and tasty meal.

it is still nice to make a batch from scratch every now and then (although i did cheat a bit this time around, which will become evident shortly).

how i we make lazy homemade pork-vegetable dumplings:

1. charge the camera battery.

2. gather an assortment of veggies.

3. chop/grate them as needed.

4. place the ground pork in a mixing bowl.

5. add the assorted veggies. we also added a splash of flavoring (soy sauce, ground black pepper, etc) at this point.

6. combine thoroughly.

here comes the cheating bit...

7. grab the frozen dumpling wrappers you purchased at the Asian market. these particular wrappers contain a bit of pumpkin, hence the color.

8 and 9. dip your fingers into water, then apply a daub of water around the edge of the wrapper to aid sealing. add a small portion of the meat mixture to the middle of the wrapper.

10. begin sealing at one end, using a pleating technique (if that is part of your culinary skill set).

ta da!!! congratulations. you just made a dumpling.

now repeat that as many times as is needed. this was the first half of our batch. they went into the freezer on a lined cookie sheet and were left to freeze completely. they were then placed into a ziploc bag and returned to the freezer for some future lazy-day dumpling eating.

the second half of the batch became our meal.

we filled both layers of the larger bamboo steamer, but there were still two leftover dumplings, so he went digging in the back of the Cupboard of Requirement (which is a standard feature in most kitchens) to find the mini bamboo steamers. so intensely cute.

all that was left to do was to place the steamers over pans of boiling water.. and wait. i used a wok for the larger steamer and a small frying pan for the smaller one, and i added a splash of hot water from the kettle when either one was in danger of running dry.

i also made a dipping sauce while the dumplings cooked.

i really like the flavor the bits of ginger and green onions add to the sauce.

finally the dumplings were done. so steamy. i love it.

we designated these two as our sampling dumplings.
 

this was my first time using the pumpkin wrapper. i did not detect a pumpkin flavor, but i like the color, which became even more pumpkiny after cooking.

we then placed the double-stacked steamer onto a plate, grabbed some chopsticks and the bowl of dipping sauce, and went off to enjoy our meal.

i should point out that we had the same conversation we usually having when cooking most things these days. what if it turns out to be even more delicious than the dumplings we get from the market or from any of the restaurants in the area? then we will be ruined for life, because we could never go back to eating dumplings that we did not make ourselves.

it sounds a bit crazy (and borderline obnoxious), i know, but we have already had that happen regarding quite a few of our favorite takeout food items. and it usually leads to the same conversation. take, for example, the tom yum soup which he has absolutely perfected over the course of the past year or so.

me: wow. that is amazing. it is better than the soup at [our go-to Thai restaurant].
him: i know.
me: so now i can never order that again because i know you can make even better tom yum soup.
him: i know. we are ruined for life.
me: i almost want to take a bowl of it over there to make them taste it, but they will probably ban us from ever ordering food again.
him: i know.

so, just how good were those dumplings? let me put it this way. we are not quite ruined for life. not just yet. the key to making that happen would be to make the wrapper dough from scratch next time around. i like the convenience of purchasing frozen wrappers, but they have nothing on freshly-made dumpling wrappers.

problem is, that tends to be a bit time consuming, which is why dumpling making is something i do once every couple-few years. kneading dough, then rolling out many little wrappers, then making the filling, then stuffing all those bits of dough is a bit much for me. however, i did make a recent discovery that should make it a bit easier the next time around.

turns out, he is actually quite useful when it comes to filling and sealing dumplings. i did have to give him a crash-course on how to make those little pleats, but he got the hang of it soon enough. i am not going to point out who made which dumplings (but if you squint a bit, you may see some subtle difference between them).

the best part of the thing was that we had a whole lot of fun... and the weather had undergone a few more changes and was back to snowing (again) by the time we were done. not a bad way to spend a Sunday afternoon.