insane by association...

i broke a tooth while eating popcorn one day last week. this is not a misguided plea for any kind of sympathy. i just need you to understand the insanity that passes for normal in our home.

so... i woke up the next day to find the animator grinning from ear-to-ear, and i instantly knew that something was wrong.

him: i made an appointment for you to go to the dentist.

me: since when are you making appointments for me? aren't you the one who usually makes me do that sort of thing because you hate talking on the phone? 

him: yeh, but i made it for you anyway...

me: ... because you know i'd probably put off doing it myself for as long as i can.

him: something like that. oh, and i also made an appointment to take Titty to the vet. i did that first.

Titty (Titania, aka "Mama Kitty"), the oldest of our three two cats, has cancer. i will weep about that some other day. for now, we are trying to make her life as comfortable and enjoyable as possible in the time she has left. 

so... he called the vet before the dentist.

him: the receptionist asked if it was an emergency with Titty. is she eating? is she throwing up? or if she is meowing a lot like she might be in pain. i told her, she's eating. not throwing up. and no, she's not meowing or anything.

me: uhm... okay.

him: so then i called the dentist, and the receptionist asked how you chipped your tooth. i said eating popcorn. she asked if it's bleeding. i said no. then she asked if it's an emergency, if you're experiencing any pain...

me: and...?

him: so i said, "no, she's not meowing or anything".

so now i get to look forward to entering the dentist's office with the receptionist already convinced that i might be insane by association. 

speaking of insane associations...

mom called me one day, about a month or so ago. i was deeply concerned from "hello". 

mom: N—, i have to tell you something, and i don't want you to get upset.

me: okay...? [already dreading whatever she will say next]

mom: the plants are coming up in the garden.

then i turned toward the nearest window, and gazed out into the third (or fourth... i lost count at some point) snowstorm over the span of that week. 

i bring this up last bit up because it is currently the last day of April—Spring having officially begun more than a month ago—and we had a snowstorm as recently as a last week. but, apparently, this insanity is what i signed up for. 

it has been a while since my last post. i draw a firm line at keeping this space on the lighter side of life (dying cats get a pass for sheer sadness factor). i kept writing draft after draft, but i always hesitated when it came time to hit "publish". it is really hard to keep a lighthearted focus on the absurd side of life when so much of it feels anything but these days. still, i figured i would send up a smoke signal of sorts to say that i am still here. 

so... hello again!

i lost my crafting mojo for a while, but it seems to be back in (almost) full force. i considered doing a week month of daily short posts to try to document some of the stuff i have made over the past year... or two. however, committing to that will require an even larger dose of 'jo. 

there is one pretty cool thing that happened recently that has definitely added to the urge to get back to my crafty activities. 

i won a thing!

i left a comment on a You Tube video, which entered me into a raffle from Ewethful Fiber Farm and Mill... and i WON!!! 

this is honestly one of the two (or three) knitting-related channels i keep up with these days. the mill owner/operator Kim is a lovely person, and her YT videos offers glimpses into their life on the farm (which includes the family grass seed business and a menagerie of ridiculous animals). she also gives us regular behind the scene tours of the production process. it never stops being fascinating to see piles of dirty wool being turned into clean, beautiful yarn.

she sources fiber from small farms in her area, and she often has wool from breeds of sheep beyond the ones that get used for most things (Merino, Corriedale, Cormo, BFL, and those other "regulars"). i have been making an effort to seek out new (to me) breeds when purchasing fleeces over the past couple-few years, so i was especially drawn to the eclectic blends of fibers Kim utilizes. 

the original prize on offer included mohair, but that was more than my allergies can handle, so i asked Kim to substitute something (mohair-free) in a natural, dark color that i could blend together with some of the (closet-full of) white fleece waiting to be spun. i received a blend of Alpaca and Shetland wool (from one of Kim's own sheep named Drilla). 

i opted for un-spun fiber, so it arrived as a long rope (called roving, for the uninitiated who have made it this far). 

i found the beginning of the roving, and it was sooo tempting to start spinning away. however, i will stick to the original plan. this will become part of a lovely, heathery handspun yarn... someday. thank you so much for the generous gift, Kim (and Drilla). 

i only "eh" in jest...

i climbed out of bed unapologetically late today to find that it had rained while i was asleep. this was a most welcome sight, as Eastern Canada is in the grips of a sweltering heat-wave. the rain brought a brief respite, prompting the appearance of some much-needed pollinators who have been mostly laying low over the past week.

the animator caught a shot of a butterfly resting on a rain-drenched squash leaf in this year's balcony garden project... which he promptly turned into a jigsaw puzzle.

there was some dispute regarding the use of said image.

me: i'm gonna put that picture in my blog post.
him: did you ask for my permission to use it?
me: did you ask for my permission to use my camera?
him: [silence]
me: exactly! my camera. my photo. 
him: but i took it.
me: good luck proving that.

there has also been a spike in the number of wildfires across Quebec, which makes sense with all this heat. however, forestry experts have identified an additional, wholly-unexpected factor that is contributing to there being twice as many forest fires as usual at this time of the year.

you guessed it...it's the covid!

people are stuck at home, with little by way of distraction/entertainment, so the great outdoors presents itself as an attractive destination for anyone seeking to escape the confinement (while maintaining the common sense avoidance of other human beings). as a result, a lot more of them than usual are coming to the same dangerous conclusion.

"let's go camping, eh?"

now, i feel a need to pause here for a moment to address anyone who may have read that last sentence, and are now concerned that i may have gone native. i assure you that no such thing has occurred. i could not stop sounding like i spent most of my life in New York City, no matter how hard i might try. that quintessentially Canadian noise only ever escapes my face when i am joking about the place. trust me... i only "eh" in jest.

where was i again?

oh, yes... more people going camping, which means more irresponsible campfires, which means more forest fires. so now there is one more thing to worry about in what is already shaping up to be the most stress-inducing year in recorded history.

speaking of stress...

'twould seem i am doing a particularly bad job at keeping mine in check of late. i actually found myself on the receiving end of a bit of (wholly professional) medical advice that is unlike any i have encountered before. "you need to calm the hell down," he said. so now i can add that the list of things to (try not to) stress about. good grief!

i began my quest for calm by harassing a farmer about some sheep, and eventually purchasing a couple fleeces from the good people over at Kinnaird Farm. yes, i did recently get two fleeces (from a different farm). however, i really wanted some naturally-colored grey/black wool, so i convinced myself that this purchase was totally justified.

the only disappointment was that i could not go pick them up in person, as a visit to a sheep farm would definitely have knocked my stress levels down a few notches. the animator was prepared to turn the drive into a fun day trip. however, i am taking the whole 'common sense avoidance of other human beings' thing most seriously, so i ended up having the fleeces shipped to me... and the box sat unopened in a corner for several days.

him: you're not gonna open your package?
me: nope!
him: i thought you were so excited to get your fleece.
me: i am.
him: so why don't you open it?
me: the covid. 
him: i see.

it was like every gift-giving holiday rolled into one when i finally broke the seal on that box.

then i broke the vacuum seal on the biggest ziploc bag i have ever seen, and stood there in awe as the fiber expanded. everyone is entitled to their brand of crazy, and i totally embrace mine.

first there was Frosty, a North Country Cheviot/Blue-faced Leicester/Romney/Rideau Arcott cross. i have never worked with purebred Romney or Rideau Arcott wool, but i can see the definite influence in the cross. Frosty is a "hogget", which means a sheep that is in its second year. the term can also apply to the wool and the meat from the animal. yes, i do take my hobby very seriously.

i laid Frosty's fleece out (tip-side up) on a painting tarp that i commandeered for this very purpose. ten points if you spot the ridiculous cat. that is Cordy. she will show up again... and again.

i grabbed a few locks from different parts of the fleece. this one should have been called "Jacob", on account of the coat of many colors. it is insane that all of this came from the same sheep.

next came Blackie. this one is a NCC-BFL cross, and the fleece is finer and more springy than Frosty's. as with most naturally "black" sheep, the color of the wool is actually a super-dark, greyish brown.

i was trying to get a shot with my dark-grey kitty Philly for comparison, but she was more interested in running around like a lunatic.

i forgot to get a photo of Blackie's fleece opened out on the tarp, so i had to pause composing this post to do so (cut-side up this time) .

i took fewer samples from this one, as there was less variation across the whole thing. it is a mostly-uniform dark color with a tweedy patch that left me wondering if this sheep might be related to Don King. [disclaimer for legal purposes: i am in no way suggesting that Don King has engaged in any activity that might have resulted in his DNA being part of a sheep's lineage.]

as per usual, i grabbed some hot, soapy water...

and gave the sample fibers a wash, keeping them covered to maintain the heat in the water. the yogurt containers from last time have already gone into the recycling, so i am using takeout containers this time around... if you need all the details.

those greyscale colors really come alive after a wash. Frosty is on the top row, and Blackie is on the bottom. i really love those silvery-grey sections of Frosty's fleece. it would be nice to find a whole fleece that color.

i decided to wash Frosty's fleece first. i want to keep the locks intact, so i have been carefully laying them out in plastic mesh baskets that i keep for this very purpose, and washing them one basket at a time.

yes, it does take longer than if i divided the fleece in a couple-few batches and washed it like that, but there is something indescribably calming about sitting cross-legged on the floor, carefully organizing chunks of dirty wool into neat rows. that calm was, after all, the point of this whole thing.

unfortunately, Cordy (the Little One of our furry trio) keeps hanging around, trying to eat bits of the wool, and keeping her out of trouble is definitely cutting into the relaxing part of this exercise. try explaining to a cat that the doctor says you need to "calm the hell down". she is as troublesome as she is adorable.

i tied pieces of bird netting to a collapsible laundry rack to make a two-tiered wool-drying rack.

i would have added a third layer of netting to the bottom of the rack, but this setup doubles as a cat trap, so that would have been a very most terribly bad idea. she is seriously my favorite cat.

i want to fill the bathtub with this stuff, and dive in head-first. it is so lovely!

you can see the difference between the tips (left) and the cut-end (right) of the fiber. i wonder if this was the first time Frosty got a haircut. [addendum: the farmer said Frosty also had a haircut last year.]

i am about halfway done with this fleece, then i will move on to washing Blackie's. hopefully my poor cat will survive the over-stimulation.

there has also been quite a bit of spinning in between playing with dirty wool. i mentioned back in April that i had started spinning up the fiber i bought at last Summer's Twist Fibre Festival. [naturally, said festival is cancelled this year... which was another excuse for buying two more fleeces.] that got pushed to the side for a while, but i want to free up the wheel to start spinning all the fleece i have been accumulating of late.

i have two full jumbo bobbins so far, with about half a bobbin's worth of that fiber left to go, which should (hopefully) be enough for a simple sweater of some sort for self.

oh, and there was also a calendar at the bottom of the box of fleeces, and it is filled (naturally) with photos of happy sheep. one of those days was my birthday. it was total rubbish. perhaps i will get around to celebrating it some other day when life is slightly less insane.

it seems to be raining again. i am going to resume sitting cross-legged on the floor, playing with dirty fleece, with at least one cat close at hand to keep me company. i would not have it any other way.

best rabbit hole ever...

i am sat up in bed, watching nonsense on You Tube and eating floor-Oreos. hopefully i will do a better job of holding on to the opened pack next time around... hopefully.

it is Monday evening as i start writing this, and i am already waiting for this week to be done. last week was an especially rubbish one around here, and the weekend left me expecting that we were in for more of the same. i called my mother on Sunday, and my greeting to her was a dour, but apt one. "we are still alive. happy Mother's Day."

in that spirit of celebrating the tiny victories in life—including life itself—i present to you a tiny glimpse into the randomness that has brought some measure of joy to my corner of the Universe of late. 

we pulled a couple steaks out of the freezer and made a special meal one random day... just because.

these smashed potatoes have become his favorite dish of the moment. i boil whole potatoes (red potatoes in this case, as that is what we had on hand) in super-salty water, then smashed them lightly, and drizzled on a mixture of olive oil, melted butter, salt, black pepper, and a generous helping of crushed garlic. they go into a 425°F oven on a parchment-lined baking sheet until they are toasty around the edges, after which i turn on the broiler for the last couple-few minutes. i added a sprinkling of freshly-grated Parmesan cheese and shoved them back under the broiler for the last minute. not gonna lie... they are really tasty. he likes the leftovers served up with sour cream, so we make extra for the next day. so ridiculously good!

speaking of ridiculous... i woke up one day last week to find a new box in the entryway to our apartment, which currently serves as the 'quarantine area' for all incoming items.

me: was this here before?
him: uhm... no.
me: is this an 'unauthorized purchase'?
him: uhm... possibly.
me: what did you buy now?
him: it's a Master of the Universe. you like them. 
me: open 'er up.

after the absurdity of life of late, he can buy whatever nonsense he wants. so... welcome, Skeletor.

may you find peace among the countless other homages to a never-ending childhood that are already occupying our home. trust me... that is only a tiny fraction of the insanity in the studio. whatever makes him happy.

he hangs on to the boxes with interesting artwork, so this one was a definite keeper.

as i see it, we are all allowed our own brand of insanity. which reminds me...

i washed those two fleeces i talked about last time. this usually requires a lot of room to spread all that wool out to dry, but that would be asking for trouble in a home with three bored cats. so i divided the fiber into several batches that could be dried out of paw-reach, and washed them over the course of a week or so.

i separated out the 'best bits' from each fleece and took special care to try to wash them while maintaining the lock formations of the fiber, like this bag of cleaned BFL/NCC mule fiber. [i explained what that means in the previous post.]

i love the variation in the fiber from this one fleece. it is hard to believe that all of this came from the same sheep.

i did the same thing with the purebred BFL fleece.

this may look like a tangly mess, but i can easily separate the locks, which will help when it comes time to prep the fiber for spinning.

there is enough 'best bits' from the mule fiber for a generous sweater's worth of yarn, so i am storing all of that in a recycling bag until i decide what it will become. the BFL was a much smaller fleece, so those 'best bits' are living for now in one of the shopping bags that was sent along with my box of wool.

as for the mucky bits of both fleeces, they were washed in a less-organized fashion, using some plastic strainers and mesh baskets that i keep exclusively for use with fiber-related things.

i am going to need to open a few chakras before i can begin to tackle prepping this stuff for spinning. however, in all this madness, i welcome that challenge.

there were some impressively-long sections of the BFL fleece. i am actually considering getting one of their longer fleeces next year... should we last that long.

i am making progress on the summery top featuring my first ever batch of hand-dyed cotton-based yarn (which i spoke about two posts ago). i am taking all sorts of license in re-interpreting the designer's instructions... because i can. the top should be finished by this weekend, unless i get distracted by some other... hey, is that a butterfly???

oh, and i am still carrying those damn socks (from a few post ago) from room-to-room, although i must admit to having added not a single stitch to that project in over a week.

____________________

it is roughly twenty-four hours later and i am pleased to say that i have fallen down a rabbit hole that began with the Betty Boop classic "Minnie the Moocher", and has resulted in the past couple-few hours being spent watching segments of swing music/dancing from a truly impressive list of old movies. between the likes of the Nicholas Brothers, Cab Calloway, and Whitey's Lindy Hoppers, i have hummed, snapped my fingers, and tapped my toes enough to chase away most of the gloom that i feared would cloud the next few days of my life.

best rabbit hole ever!!!

i wrapped up my evening by returning to where it started... with good music and classic animation. this time, it was the Warner Bros classic "Three Little Bops". [the only video i could find that includes the whole piece was this one from Vimeo. and, yes... the video quality sucks.]

then my favorite animator walked in.

him: are you listing to the "Three Little Bops"?
me: yep. been listening to it on repeat for the last twenty minutes or so.
him: i was listening to that just yesterday.

then i smiled. it is nice to be reminded that our insanity intersects every once in a while.

Jultember: new Jim...

so, about that guy i met on Sunday (who i have already pre-warned of very likely future-harassment from me)...

as i noted when i was  talking about the fiber festival, all of the pretty hand-dyed yarns do not really do a whole lot for me. when i go to events of that kind, i make a beeline for anyone selling fiber for spinning (like the stuff i showed you a couple days ago).

best of all, though, is anyone selling raw (unwashed, right off the sheep) wool fleece, like this stuff.

that was part of a whole fleece i bought at last year's festival, and i will talk more about what happened once i got it home, maybe tomorrow... maybe.

i was so disappointed at the showing of raw fleece at last year's festival that i went so far as to leave a (lengthy) message on their contact/suggestion page begging them to fix that for this year. imagine my glee when i was checking out the schedule/program for this year, and there was the phrase WOOL BARN!

yes, please... and thank you very much!!!

i was on the fence about even going to this year's festival, but that was all it took to make up my mind. so off we went.

the wool "barn" was a smallish tent with a few tables holding a few fleeces. i walked around, poking at each one, pulling out a tuft or two of wool to subject them to the thorough fondling that is an understood part of assessing the thing for future use.

that is when he showed up.

he had been deep in conversation with some folks when we got there, so now he turned his attention to us, launching right into his practiced sales pitch. the "barn" was an effort of the wool growers co-op.

wool barn guy: do you know about the co-op?
me: yep. i bought fleece from them on several occasions.

i am fairly certain that my response derailed his planned presentation, because everything shifted instantly into casual conversation mode. we introduced ourselves. his name is Nathan.

Nathan: where you guys from?
me/him: Montreal.
Nathan: really? the accent sounds so different.
me: that's because i'm from Brooklyn and he's from outside Toronto.

then we chatted on for a bit. then things got interesting.

me: i think the first whole fleece i ever bought was from you guys.
Nathan: was it a good experience?
me: oh, it was fantastic. that is my go-to stop after that. even when i want something specific that i know you won't have, the co-op can usually put me in touch with a farmer who does.

this is where it got even  more interesting.

me: there is one guy there that i probably drive crazy every once in a while. his name is Jim. do you know Jim?

then Nathan gave me a strange look.

Nathan: Jim retired a while back. i used to be his apprentice, so now i am doing that job.

then we marveled at the smallness of the world, and he shared a few humorous anecdotes about Jim. we chatted on for a while, and i warned him that if he ever gets a message from someone who describes them self as "that crazy lady from Brooklyn", that would be me. then my favorite animator and i wandered off to look at other things.

our tummies eventually began to rumble, so we went to a booth in the food tent where a farmer guy had been roasting a whole lamb, and his wife (who is a cheese-maker) had promised us that we would not be disappointed if we returned to try some when it was ready. it was being served along with what she assured us would be the best cheesy-potatoes we ever tasted.

so we tracked back that way to have lunch.

we paid for two plates of lamb, potatoes, and salad, which he took over to a table while i went to look at a booth that was selling beers. i showed up at at the table a few minutes later with a bottle of hard cider for me, and some (non-alcoholic) ginger beer for him. [he hates the taste of most alcoholic things, which means that i have a designated driver for life. trust me... i know!]

he had chosen a table at the far end of the food tent, over near the small stage we had walked past earlier when some ladies were giving a demonstration about angora rabbits. the first time we walked by, she had what looked like the world's biggest ball of fluff up on a table, and she was carefully snipping away bits of its massive cloud of fur. when we passed by later, another lady was siting in front of a spinning wheel with a different equally-super-fluffy bunny on her lap, and she was spinning directly from its fur (they molt naturally, so it does not hurt).

the stage was empty now, and they were setting up for a new speaker. i was in the middle of sitting down when i noticed who it was.

me: oh, wow... it's new Jim. 

then we both laughed.

him: is that what we're calling him?
me: oh, you know he's gonna be "new Jim" from now on.

and, yes... those potatoes were spectacular.

31: eight Batmans later...

i asked my favorite animator if i could borrow one of his Batmans to use in my photo for today's post.

him: which one do you want?
me: you know that one i really like.

so he disappeared into the studio, and returned with the Mike Mignola maquette.

me: not that one. you know my favorite one... the one with the cape.

this one features Batman perched contemplatively atop a Gargoyle... high above Gotham.

him: that one is your favorite? why?
me: why not? just look at the ripples on that cape as it's draped over the gargoyle. they captured that texture perfectly.

him: that is what you like about it?
me: yep. why do you say that like it's wrong?
him: it just seems like an odd reason. maybe it's a knitting thing. 

we were both standing in the studio at this point, while he moved several other Batman figures out of the way to get to the one i wanted at the back of the display case.

me: on second thought... give me ALL of the Batmans. 

naturally, i was not trusted to actually carry any of them out to the table in the living room, so i went there and waited for them to be brought to me one at a time.

me: this is kinda like those archaeology documentaries where they go to a museum to examine some ancient artifact, and it has to be brought out of a special protective case, and they are only allowed to touch the item while wearing white gloves. 

then the Batmans started to arrive... one at a time. eight Batmans later, he asked me if that was enough?

me: there's more?

then he gave me a look that let me know i had asked a silly question. so he went back to the studio, and returned with five more Batmans.

him: there's some more of them in the boxes in the closet. i can go rummaging if you want more.
me: i think this will be plenty. no rummaging required. 

i need to offer a brief explanation to put this final post into perspective. this topic was intentionally left for the end for a couple reasons. firstly, it was the longest-delayed of all of the things i intended to talk about, as it all started more than a year ago. and, secondly, it was intended to be a story told in three parts, but i have not quite gotten around to the last bit just yet, so i am hoping that ending off the month on this topic would encourage me to get back to that part of things.

anyhoo... thank you to anyone who stuck around for the month of postings, and what follows is a rather bizarre account that begins with an obituary, and ends with something that genuinely brought me a great deal of joy.

i was scrolling through the headlines one morning last Summer, when something caught my eye.

me: aww... Batman is dead.
him: yeh. i saw that earlier.
me: that's kinda sad.

you know how some people experience a meltdown at the death of a favorite celebrity... so they run right out and re-purchase every book, movie, or album (s)he ever produced... then they call in sick for the next two weeks so they can read, watch, or listen to it all on a loop?

well... i am far too much of a stoic to ever behave like that. if life was a Star Trek series, Vulcans would be constantly telling me that i need to lighten up. it really is that bad.

to have lived a long and truly interesting life is about the best thing i could ever hope for anyone, and Adam West certainly did just that. however, the news of his death kept going around in my mind. it was not necessarily about the man, or the character with which he was so closely identified. it was all those memories of the childhood years i spent watching Batman reruns in the Summer. those were some really good times.

i spent most of those extended breaks from school with two of my closest friends. their mom (who was my mom's best friend) babysat a few little kids from their neighborhood during the week, so their house was always awash in activity.

by contrast, i was the only child in a single-parent home, and my mom's job on Wall Street meant that she frequently worked long hours. even when i was old enough to be home alone for the whole day, that meant being by myself for all of that time, so (naturally) i went where the action was.

no exaggeration, i would show up at their door on Monday morning, and mom would call on Friday to ask if i planned on coming home for the weekend. i sometimes said no, so she would stop by on her way home to pick up my laundry and drop off some clean clothes on her way to work on Monday.

it really was that much fun being at their place. we would throw blankets and pillows on the living room floor every evening, then watch late-night reruns until we fell asleep. i have seen every episode of The Odd Couple, MASH, All in the Family, The Honeymooners, and all those other old shows more times than i care to admit, because that was how we ended every single day.

then we would wake up the next morning, have breakfast, and do it all over again. there was Gilligan's Island, Star Trek, The Dukes of Hazard, Fantasy Island, Leave it to Beaver, The Love Boat, I Love Lucy, and (of course) Batman. nothing screams "summertime" like watching some guy in a mask and long johns walking up walls and fake-punching bad guys, with his equally-ridiculously-attired young ward in tow. seriously good times!

their mom usually kicked us out of the house when the afternoon soap operas started, and we would spend the rest of the day playing with the other kids on the block, returning briefly to have dinner, then running back out to carry on playing well into the evening. i learned to ride a bike on that block. i learned to roller skate on that block. i learned to jump double-dutch on that block. all sandwiched between our watching of too much old-time tv.

seriously... why would i have passed up a second of that to be back home at our place, where i spent most of my time alone in my room with my nose stuck in a book? i am certain all of that reading helped in nurturing the über-nerd i eventually grew up to be, but it was nothing compared to time spent in the company of friends while we reveled in the joy of summertime.

 so, there i was that Saturday morning, drifting on a cloud of happy childhood memories, when the urge to do something creative finally got the best of me. i went rummaging through the closet at the end of the hall that houses most of my yarn-related supplies.

him: what are you doing?
me: Batman is dead. i'm gonna dye some yarn.
him: i see.

it was not yarn at this point. that part came later. i had purchased a pound of unspun fiber from The Fibre Garden with every intention of dyeing and spinning it into my very own yarn for socks (for him, naturally, because my constellation of allergies does not allow for the wearing of such things).

i weighed out half of the fiber—reserving the other half for some future must-dye-something-now emergency—then carried it and all of the other necessary bits out to the balcony.

[that roll of plastic wrap that shows up in many of these photos is not some un-clever attempt at product placement of any kind. it was an important part of the dye process. this blog is not underwritten by the folks at Glad® or any of their affiliates, nor do they supply me with free (or even discounted) products in exchange for shoving them into random photos.]

i also mixed up all of the dyes before going outside, and tested the colors in the usual highly-scientific way (i.e. i touched the end of the stir-sticks to a piece of paper towel). yep... you can definitely see how i got that PhD.

next came the fiber.

this stuff is so fluffy and beautiful, even before it is dyed.

i made a loose knot at one end, and used my hands to make a long crochet-like chain to keep it organized (i also drank a lot of sangria to stay hydrated). this took a few minutes, as i had to get through quite a bit of yarn... and sangria.

finally i had a long chain ready to dye.

first i soaked the wool in water with a healthy splash of vinegar. this is where i usually pull out a white lab coat and put on my biggest glasses to explain the importance of pH in dyeing fiber, but i will spare you that lecture. just trust me that it is an important part of the thing.

next i drained and squeezed most of the water from the fiber, as i did not want it to be a drippy mess for the next stage, as that would only result in the colors bleeding together when i apply the dye.

this fiber was from BFL sheep. they have curly wool, which gets straightened out when the fiber is processed, but it goes back to being curly when it gets wet. kinda like if i was to flat-iron my own hair... then walk bareheaded in the rain.

now we dye!!!

i unrolled as long a piece of plastic wrap as i could fit on the part of the balcony that was not crowded with large containers of plants, and folded the braid of fiber a couple-few times to fit on top of that.

then i grabbed my applicator bottles which i had filled with dye in a bright yellow, deep blue, and dark bluish-grey.

this is, basically, the recipe for making a whole lot of muddy green, so i had to try to keep the colors separated. the first step was to squeeze most of the water from the fiber, and the second step was to maintain a small border about half an inch wide (that is roughly one centimeter for the entire rest of the world) between the colors. capillary action would wick enough of the dye from either side to bridge that gap without excessive blending of the colors.

next i folded up the long sides of the plastic, making sure to overlap them as tightly as i could...

then i folded the plastic to seal the ends and rolled the whole thing up like a psychedelic cinnamon roll. you usually know right away if there was too much liquid in your fiber, as the dye will run, pool, and ultimately leak while you are doing this part. ask me how i know.

i was ready to add this to my dye pot so it could be steamed for a bit to set the dye, then i had a change of heart.

now, i always dye fiber in my dye pot, but there are all those lunatics who talk about setting dye in their microwave, because... you know... it is so much faster. i was already being uncharacteristically sentimental. why not give it a try? so i did.

those same lunatics usually say things like, "all it takes is five minutes in the microwave"... then you see all of the dye bleeding into their rinse water, because it did not have enough time/heat to properly bond to the fiber.

by contrast, when i dye wool in my dyepot, i usually keep it at the "threatening to boil" point for twenty to thirty minutes (or even longer when i am working with those pesky blue tones), then i turn off the heat and leave the whole thing to cool. trying to rush the process only ends with washing dye down the drain that should have been bonded to your fiber.

still, i went ahead and gave the microwave heat-set a try. i heated it for a total of ten minutes, giving the cinnamon roll a flip halfway through the time. i brought the bowl back outside and left it to cool while i finished my drink and examined the dye that always manages to sneak past the big rubber gloves and stain my hands. not too bad this time.

i spent some of that time watching a tiny spider construct a web between the container of tomatoes and the strawberry pot of herbs. the yellow/black is the spider, and the white spot is the center of the web. if you squint really hard, you can just barely make out the circular lines of the web. it was a very small spider and a very thin web.

once the fiber was cool enough to handle without risking injury to my person, i opened one end of the plastic wrap, and let the fiber slide out into a sink of warm water with a squirt of soap (to help neutralize the acid and remove any loose dye), then rinsed it in plain water. i was genuinely shocked by the absence of dye bleeding, as i was fully prepared to add microwave dyeing to the list of things you see on the internet that you should never try at home. trust me... you do not want to know what else is on that list.

the hardest part came next. finding even more patience to wait till all that wool dries. it looked like a colorful wet dog at this stage, but wait till you see how it turned out... next time!