you are not reading this...

i sat down one day, and tallied up all the posts i either started and never finished, or finished and never posted over the past few years. thirty-six! the number was thirty-six (because i can hear you asking). it might be thirty-seven, if you are not reading this.

as the (second) most uptight person i have ever met, i can say with complete sincerity that it is difficult to 'look on the bright side' when everything feels so... well... complicated. there were a few bright spots that i would still like to share, like this one from last year.

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i took this photo on a whim one day, and i am extremely glad i did.

we were heading out on a lengthy road trip, when we did the one thing that is required by law before getting on a Candian highway... we stopped off to get a couple Iced Capps and a box of TimBits. that is when i made a casual comment about the grapevine that had overgrown the neighboring yard. then i started squinting. something had caught my attention. do you see him?

of course, his name is Gary. 

so, we got our snacks, got back in the car, and off we went. i might have even said goodbye to Gary... just because. so long, Buddy!

four-ish hours later, we pull over at a rest stop for the only break of the long trip. the animator took off for the restrooms, while i was still climbing out of the car, struggling to regain circulation in my legs. then i almost fainted.

the animator returned shortly, only to find me sitting on a large rock, staring at the wooden fence, and shaking my head. 

him: what's the matter with you?

me: it's happening again...!

then i pointed to the snail, and we both broke out laughing. 

people getting in and out of nearby vehicles definitely thought we were insane, but they would be laughing too if they understood.

i am a card-carrying Science geek who does not believe in spirits, magic, and all that other nonsense... but i find it most fascinating that we encounter some sort of ridiculous déjà vu moment every time we go on long trips. 

like the time we were driving to an airport in NY, and got stuck behind a pickup full of chimney-sweep brushes. not exactly something you see everyday. still, there it was, in front of us for the whole drive to the airport. then we got off a plane several states away, and took a taxi to the hotel. naturally, the taxi was stuck in traffic the whole way... behind a pickup full of chimney-sweep brushes. 

so... you know... not exactly superstitious, or anything. but, willing to consider the possibility that the Matrix gets glitchy every now and then. prove me wrong!

clockwork murder in the orange hour...

i need to sign up for some sort of non-dating service where you can meet people in your area who possess very specific knowledge and interests. in my case, i am in need of someone who either knows way too much about the habits of Montreal crows... or, who is willing to be my designated driver for a couple hours a day, while i hang out a car window, trying to track them in flight. 

but, before all of that... i made the mistake of hoping that it would be a sunny day, until the animator opened the curtains. 

me: why is it so... gray?

him: it's not that bad.

then he leaned forward to look at something down at street level, made a noise, then instantly assumed the universally-understood tone of voice that is reserved expressly for delivering bad news.

him: you know that orange work sign across the street?

me: uhm... yeh...?

him: well... the orange is gray. 

then i sighed and pulled the covers back over my head. 

why are we even talking about this, you ask? because i can talk about whatever the hell i want, for a start. but, mostly, because i found myself sat cross-legged, staring at the sky today, wondering if "it" was going to happen. 

twice a day, weather permitting, the sun reaches the perfect elevation in the sky to send all of its lovely rays streaming (horizontally) through our place. we call it "the orange hour". the sunrise orange hour is usually the more subtle of the two, as there are only a couple windows on that side of the building. 

the sunset orange hour, however, is a thing of indescribable beauty. the SW wall is more glass than bricks, and the whole place just glows. the color is amplified by the terracotta colored walls in the living and dining rooms. it is like sitting cross-legged on a sofa... inside of an active volcano. 

the "hour" lasts only a few minutes in the Winter, but we get Snyder Cut orange hours come Summer. and this happens twice every single day. 

there is also the other thing that happens twice every single day. right after the sun rises and again before it sets, the skies over Montreal become some sort of HOV lane for a large murder of crows. twice every single day, like clockwork, they head SW in the morning, and they take the return flight back, just as the sun threatens to set. 

i just really want to know where they are going, and i might even have to risk making a new friend if that will finally bring me some answers. 

so, there i was this afternoon, sipping my hot beverage and catching up with Norbert. (s)he had stopped by for a snack of stale tortilla chips and puddles of melted ice water. i kept glancing up from my screen, hopeful that the depressingly-overcast clouds would part just long enough for me to (literally) bask in the glow of sunset. 

however, it is still a cold, damp, gray Winter day here in Metropolis North, so i had to settle for clockwork murder in the orange hour... and, of course, the orange was gray. le sigh!

Norbert took off when the evening commute started, lest the crows get any funny ideas. so, i just carried on sipping my beverage, and enjoying the antics of the passing forms. they do not exactly fill the whole sky, but there is a steady ribbon of crows that follow the same path always, and it goes on for anywhere from twenty minutes to an hour... or more. and this happens twice every single day, unless we are experiencing a storm of some type. 

there are always a few stragglers, flapping extra hard to catch up with the rest of the murder. 

in the Summer, the shapes of crows would be displaced by silhouettes of bats heading out for an evening hunt... which is usually my signal to go inside. maybe i need to make two friends with special interests, because i also really need to know where those bats hang out all day. 

Muppets would be homeless...

i woke up from a dream about witches flying around a massive kitchen on broomsticks, competing in a cooking show. the 2024 season of Great British Menu—my absolute fave of all the 'Great' shows—is underway. i may have also just recovered from a two week stretch without a single sunny day by rewatching all the films in a certain magical franchise. 

speaking of potters... we were sitting down to watch the latest episode of  The Great Pottery Throw Down, when i made an... uhm... uplifting discovery. they pot in Canada! boy, do they pot in Canada. so, we watched the very first episode of  The Great Canadian Pottery Throw Down. 

i was concerned that Seth Rogen's involvement in this was purely "vanity", but he actually really knows his stuff. he is also Seth Rogen... so it got interesting real fast. the contestants started working on items that reminded them of home, while the judges retreated to their backstage discussion area. this is when Seth reached back, to pull out a beautiful object that reminds him of the mountains back home. naturally, it is a bong. 

i almost died laughing.

this is the CBC. it is (largely) publicly-funded, like PBS and NPR back home in the States. because of that public funding, their programming (television and radio) is free for all to enjoy, and it (usually) falls under the heading of 'family viewing'... which is why my 'raised by Puritanical American television' mind melted. 

i could barely get the words out. i was laughing so hard. 

me: what??? you can't do this on publicly-funded tv! i don't even think you'd be allowed to do this on the major networks. definitely not during primetime. this would have to be on some kind of streaming service you're paying extra for. i am certain that if this happened on a regular family program back home...

then i paused to reflect on scenes of CDs being crushed, wine bottles emptied down drains, the near global shortage of duct tape because of a beer can... to name a few 'American overreaction moments'.  

me: yep... there would definitely have to be many rounds of Congressional hearings because of this pottery contest. Muppets would be homeless. 

then Seth proceeded to demonstrate how easily he crafts an ashtray specially designed for holding joints, and he set the contestants the challenge of making one of their own... then i just carried on laughing. 

all both of them...

did i mention that i seem to have some sort of fan club going at my dentist's office? the animator informed me of said fact... right after he stopped laughing. you should probably know that i go out of my way most days to avoid human contact. i never claimed to be problem-free. this particular day, i had asked him to call and make an appointment for me. then i heard him laughing as he came walking down the hall.

him: i started saying your name, and the receptionist got so excited, she practically screamed the last part. then she said, "oh, we know exactly who [me] is".

me: that definitely does not sound good. what did i... but probably you... do to make me so memorable at the dentist's office?

then i started to frantically review the last few times either one of us went near that building. 

him: it's not anything like that. they remember the orange sweater you were wearing last time. remember everyone kept giving you compliments about it everywhere we went that day?

me: uhm, yeh...?

him: well the receptionists are knitters, and they couldn't stop talking about it after you left. they were both practically squealing when they heard your name. 

me: good grief!

this is the garment in question, by the way. 

the pattern is "Ro" by This.Bird.Knits (on Ravelry).

the top is not even a particularly special one. it was mostly passive knitting while watching stuff. most of all, it was something i starting making one night a couple-few years ago, when my left eye started twitching because it was snowing... in April. i know!

this has become one of my most-worn handknits. i used a smooth cotton yarn that drapes really well, and feels soft and cool against the skin. i (mostly) followed the pattern, but i did add a bit of shaping for the hips... because i have them. 

of course, it has pockets! did you even need to ask?

so, now i have fans... all both of them. one knits, and the other one (mostly) crochets (which i am willing to forgive in this instance). i may have also mentioned that i like to spin and dye, so now i have an excuse to take them some of my own yarn... like these two i dyed one sleepless night. i got to test out an idea i had about creating tonal depth using a single color... and they each got a 100g hank of hand-dyed yarn. everybody wins, no?

one of dem days...

 we (sorta) made plans for a quick day trip out of town to do some Nature watching. we proceed to wake up way too late to make it worth the drive. plus, there was that other thing.

him: sweetie... can you get me some headache pills? 

so, i pulled back the blanket and climbed out of bed... and almost fell over sideways. turns out, severe sinus pressure has a habit of confusing the mechanism in your inner-ear that is vital for stuff like balance and knowing which way is up. so, i had to stumble along to the bathroom, using the wall for support and guidance... which was a lot. i returned a short while later with painkillers, which we shared.

we then scolded ourselves for doing anything so stupid as to make plans in mid-Winter, even in a mild one like this. we have accepted that it is 'one of dem days'... until April... or May.

i get that people like adventuring in the cold, but taking photos of animals from the comfort of a heated vehicle is my notion of Winter Sport... like this one. i am fairly certain it is a ring-billed gull. 

(s)he was hanging out atop a mountain of snow, watching chunks of ice float down the St. Lawrence. yes. that qualifies as a pastime. especially when it is cold, and you live in the middle of a large river. 

speaking of activities in the cold... i have been watching curling. totally unironically. well... sorta unironically. it began, naturally, with the last Winter Olympics. i (and the rest of the planet) am amused by a sport where people spend so much time yelling "SVEEEP". then the Olympics were done, and i kept on watching. not enough to qualify as a "fan", but i definitely find it fascinating, and i would be down for giving it a try.

best of all... the animator makes fun of me every time he sees me watching curling, but it always ends the same way.

him: what's that [pointing to the screen]?

me: i'm watching Matt Dunstone play Joël Retornaz at the 2024 Co-op Canadian Open. 

two hours (and many curling jokes) later...

him: wow! Dunstone really does have a special touch with the stone. and he really seems to be handling the conditions better than everyone else. they're getting tripped up by the low humidity making the ice so dry. but, man... Dunstone can put that stone right where he wants it.

then i just looked at him.

me: do you even hear yourself right now?

then we laughed for a bit. that is how we handle most days.