4.01.2016

all my secrets...

there is a giant cardboard box in the middle of my living room. there is a giant cardboard box in the middle of my living room... and it is filled with yarn. there is a giant cardboard box in the middle of my living room and it is filled with yarn... and there is even more yarn piled up on the chesterfield. there is a giant cardboard box in the middle of my living room and it is filled with yarn and there is even more yarn piled up on the chesterfield... and that is still only about half of my stash (if you include all the unspun fiber still lurking in bags and bins). i am almost ready to admit that i have a problem.

this was part of an effort to jump-start some much-needed spring cleaning. sadly, the effort derailed shortly after it began, so now there is yarn (and other random stuff) everywhere in my apartment. my mother would be appalled that i am admitting such a thing to the world, as she belongs to the 'what will people think' school of thought. fortunately, not only did the proverbial apple fall far from that tree, it rolled away and got lost... probably in pile of strings and other such silly things. i am at peace with that idea.

one would think that staring at so large a pile would put a halt to my fibery spending, right? one would have to be a newcomer to assume such crazy things. my recent trip to the yarn shop resulted in my most guilt-ridden purchase to date.



i feel like i am betraying my people by admitting this aloud, but i wear almost none of the items i make as i am (gasp) allergic to wool. this is not surprising when you consider the fact that i am allergic to all of the truly wonderful things in life (she says with great sadness, realizing that they are probably pulling tray after tray of croissants out of the oven at this very moment at the little French bakery just three doors down the street). what... where was i? oh, yes... allergic to wool. indeed. still, i walked in the yarn shop specifically because i wanted something special for myself—something that i could actually wear and enjoy. hello happiness!

this is Traumseide by Zitron (here on Ravelry) in the olive colorway (#17). it is 100% silk, but it feels like it is made from the smiles of baby pandas. it is that soft! this officially counts as a super-early birthday present from my favorite animator, though he is not allowed to look at the receipt (it is better that way, trust me). i am hoping to turn this precious-precious yarn into a Featherweight cardigan, which will automatically become the single most expensive garment i have made to date (the record currently belongs to the grey cardi/wrap i made last year for mom).



i also purchased some Luxury Collection Pima Lino Lace by Diamond (here on Ravelry). it is a cotton-linen blend, which means that i will be able to both knit and wear a garment without resorting to antihistamines and foul language.


i want to make a summery tee, like the Linum Tee, Starstruck, or sunny side [up!], but i am equally drawn to the sundress potential of the Shoals Tank and 003. the colorway is fuschia pink (#1792), which is a grand departure from my grey-scale outlook on life. strangely, the universe has seen fit to endow me with skin that absolutely comes alive in the presence of such ridiculous tones. well-played, cruel universe. well-played.



i also purchased a ball of multicolored sock yarn, as my favorite animator saw a photo of some hand-knit socks and decided that he is ready to echelon to such finery.



full disclosure: i buy a ball of multi-colored sock yarn every time i go to the yarn store, and i have yet to make a single pair of socks, but the very suggestion that such a thing may happen one of these days seems to keep him distracted from the growing stash. what's that you say, sweetie? you can't sit on the couch because it is occupied by many bags of yarn? just look at this pretty, multicolored thing. it may one day become a pair of socks for your very own feet. yep... works every time.



for now, i am genuinely afraid to touch the silk yarn, and i am indecisive as to what i will do with the other one, so i started a Bly cardigan (for self) with some yarn i found at the bottom of the stash. it is a cotton blend, and, yes, that is even more deep-pink lurking between the white fiber. clearly, i need help.



aside: i made a set of these stitch markers several years ago, and they are still my favorites.



on the domestic front, i may turn out to be the first person to get a restraining order against their own cat. she managed to get herself locked in a closet for a few hours, and now she refuses to leave my side. naturally, i am talking about the grey one, as mama kitty has far too much self-respect to engage in such antics... and too much common sense to sit in a closet for hours without making some effort to alert us to her predicament in the first place. in my defense, i was not the one who put the vacuum cleaner away in the dark, totally missing the cat as she slipped into said closet. furthermore, were it not for my insistence that someone (not me, of course) get out of bed and look for her before we fell asleep, she might have been there for the whole night. that was about three weeks ago, and she is still following me around... except, of course, when she goes off to the studio to nap in a half-empty cardboard box [which she enters by climbing on top, shoving her head through the small gap where the flaps meet, then allowing gravity to do the rest of the work]. this is a brand-new thing started in the wake of the closet incident, and it has me deeply puzzled. cat logic: i am so traumatized by being trapped in a closet, that i find it necessary to shadow you at all times. wait... gotta go sleep in a small, dark space. pretty much.

i was denied the joy of biting the face off my Easter chocolate sheep, and i have only my self to blame. i left it on a table near the balcony doors... the near eight-foot wide balcony doors... the near eight-foot wide, southwest-facing balcony doors. after a few hours of sunshine, there was a gaping hole where his face should have been. my favorite animator ate the remains and declared that i would not have liked it as it was too sweet for my taste. i will have to take his word for it, but i am not fully convinced. he did try to appease me with a chocolate bar from the Croatian store. full disclosure: it was also far too sweet for my taste, but i ate it anyway. such a cruel universe.



and, finally and most absurdly of all, he has an elderly relative who is convinced that we have secret children that we are hiding from the family... and she has apparently been voicing this nonsense to his other relatives. pretty much.

so, to recap:

  1. i have wayyy too much yarn.
  2. my place looks like it was hit by a tornado, and i could not care less.
  3. i am obsessed with stuff that makes me sick. 
  4. i spent two weeks worth of grocery money on yarn for one sweater.
  5. it pains me to admit that i like bright colors. 
  6. i am distracting my partner with the promise of socks (there is a joke in there if you look hard enough).
  7. we locked the cat in a closet.
  8. the chocolate sheep melted due to neglect.
  9. we are the subject of a conspiracy involving secret children. [note: we do not have any children, and i doubt that we will ever be responsible enough to consider such a thing (because... see also #1-8)].
yep. pretty much. 

2 comments:

  1. repeat this softly to yourself. "there is no such thing as too much yarn. there is no such thing is too much yarn, or too many colors."
    Say it slowly and often and soon it will begin to sound reasonable. You could always take up weaving on a small scale, there is nothing that uses up Too Much Yarn as weaving...
    I have the same problem with Legos. There is no such thing as too many Legos. Truly. I am also blessed with a husband Who Understands this.
    Granted, I can't wear my Legos, they do keep me company in the winter, on snow days. And they satisfy my need to Sort and Arrange.

    ReplyDelete
  2. mittens... i especially agree about the 'need to sort and arrange'. when life gets a bit hectic, there is always order to be found in one's stash.

    ReplyDelete